


A War Never Won

by Madashatters



Category: Captain America - All Media Types, Iron Man - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, M/M, Past Steve Rogers/Tony Stark, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Tony Stark Still Has Arc Reactor, Tony-centric, mentioned Steve Rogers/Bucky Barnes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-06
Updated: 2017-07-06
Packaged: 2018-11-28 11:24:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,624
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11416935
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Madashatters/pseuds/Madashatters
Summary: There are casualties in every war, in every fight. Tony knew this and he's okay with taking the fall, really he is. As long as his family is together, he'll be fine.---Or the one where Tony forgives too early and forgets that scars need time to heal.





	A War Never Won

**Author's Note:**

> Surprise, surprise, this isn't betaed. This whole fic is basically me releasing all my emotions about civil war because that killed me. Enjoy!! Comments (and requests @ anotherwriteroffanfic on tumblr) are always welcome!!

A year ago, the Avengers stopped being the Avengers. There was a war, of sorts. People were injured, families were torn apart, friendships betrayed, nothing was left the same. One year ago, the Avengers fought in an airport. One year ago, Rhodey was left paralyzed. One year ago, Tony was left to die as he watched the love of his life walk away without a second glance to his body. One year ago, he was betrayed by the people he thought never would. But that was the past. The war is over. The scars, though deep, have now healed. Rhodey can walk, thanks to some late nights in the workshop. Tony isn’t dead, he has more scars now and to survive they had to put back the arc reactor and sure, his life expectancy has decreased majorly and maybe, sometimes he wakes up screaming St- Cap’s name but that’s fine. He’s fine. Everything is ok, the war is over. The Avengers are coming back. His family is coming back.

 

\---

 

The first back was Natasha. She showed up in the middle of the night and Tony didn’t hear her. Of course, he knew they would be coming, he invited them. It was his fault for his reaction, really, Natasha didn’t know it would happen. It was fine. He had been spending more and more late nights in the workshop and without someone to stop him, a lot of the time he’d go days before resurfacing. He was heading to bed, walking through the commons just for old times sake. He did that every now and then. Sometimes he’d sit where he always used to and remember the team around him, laughing and throwing popcorn at each other. When the memories faded he’d get a drink before bed. So when he saw her sitting on the loveseat, he could’ve sworn it was just all in his head. Then she stood up and she looked at him and he couldn’t breathe. She had walked closer to him and he can’t remember how to breathe. She stopped, looking at the blue coming from his chest. He can remember imagining a tear leaving her eyes and her saying “I’m sorry.” But she didn’t have to be sorry, it was his fault for reacting that way. He cleared his throat, ignoring the pain in his chest.

 

“Don’t worry, it was my fault,” Before she said anything else he moved to head towards the elevators, “I gotta get some sleep but um, your floor is still open to you. So is the common floor, everything that was open to you still is really. So um-welcome home.” He nodded to himself and headed to his floor.

 

He slept with his door locked. Friday put his floor on lockdown. But it was fine, because his family was coming back to him.

 

\---

 

Bruce came back on his own. He had knocked, actually knocked, on the entrance leading into Tony’s workshop. When Tony looked up, there he stood, sweater and small smile and all. Tony remembered running to him. And when he had stopped in front of him, unsure if the other man wanted to be hugged. He just smiled and shook his head like he always used to do and pulled him in. Tony hugged back with all he had, he didn’t know he was shaking until Bruce pulled back. He looked to Tony’s chest and his face fell. “Oh Tony.” He pulled him in for another hug before Tony could say anything.

 

“It’s fine Bruciebear, everything’s fine.” The both ignored how his voice shook along with his body. Bruce tightened his hold on him when the tears came. The bots surrounded them, beeping sadly.

 

“It’s ok, Tony, I’m staying, I promise, I’m staying.”

 

\---

 

Clint never officially came back, he had a family to take care of, his bow, however, did come back. Wrapped nicely, with a ribbon and everything, left on Tony’s desk with a note.

 

_I know I’m retired but keep this warm for me, yeah?_

_-Your friendly neighborhood Robin hood_

 

Tony burned the package without even opening it, the note with it. Then he moved to start working on a new bow for him. One that was inflammable.

 

\---

 

Vision had been there the whole time really, in the background. A constant reminder of everything Tony did wrong, of everything he lost. Tony tried not to pay attention to him, tried not to listen to him. Because then he'd hear Jarvis and then he'd remember that Jarvis was gone and then he'd have to get a drink. Then he'd disappoint Friday and Vision. Because he still became a terrible father but he wasn't _his_ father and that's what matters. Instead he was just a disappointment. But that's ok.  Vision is part of the family.

 

\---

 

Thor returned from Asgard with tales of glory. However, when he heard of what happened from Jane, he went to Tony immediately.

 

“I am sorry for the events that transpired while I was away Brother Tony, I know you and the captain were quite fond.” They were sitting at the kitchen table, like old times, a box of poptarts in front of Thor and a cup of coffee in front of Tony. Like normal.

 

Tony smiled sadly, “Yeah buddy, we were. But that’s ok. Things happen.”

 

“You once more have the blue in your chest.” Thor’s voice softened as best it could, still loud in the empty room.

 

“Yeah bud, yeah I do.” He choked, “Hey, if you ever wanna get away from the Mrs you have a floor here, ok?”

 

Thor smiled sadly towards him. He clapped him on the shoulder, “Thank you, Brother Tony. For everything.”

 

Tony could only nod. He took a sip of his coffee.

 

\---

 

The last back was S-Cap. Well, Cap and friends. He arrived at the tower as if he were returning home, which he was. Tony was luckily wearing a black shirt that blocked the reactor’s light. Wanda, Sam, and Scott **,** came out of the elevator in front of the captain. Protecting him, their leader, even though he was tall enough that Tony could still see him. He nodded at them. He took a small step away from Wanda, hoping she didn't notice. He didn't want to hurt her feelings. “Wanda your floor is still open to you, same goes to you, Cap.” He looked to the two newbies, “I figured you guys would be coming, you have your own floors too. I'm sure Rogers can show you where everything else is.” He moved to go before remembering something, “Oh, Wanda you're officially a citizen of the U.S., congrats, and Lang?” The man in question stepped forward at hearing his name, Tony stayed in place. “I cleared your record.” He ignored the way Lang’s eyes widened.

 

“T-thank you so much, how?” He sputtered.

 

Tony shrugged, “Don't worry about it. Your floor has a room for your girl too, if you ever wanna bring her hom-here.” Satisfied, Tony moved to leave again.

 

“Tony?” Tony felt something twinge near the arc reactor. He should check that. He turned around and pretended he could look Cap in the eyes.

 

“Yea, Cap?” The wall of people in front of him separated, if Tony wanted, if Tony could, he'd be able to see all of Steve. To see how he nervously played with his hands.

 

“Is Bucky allowed to come to the tower?” He said it almost shyly. As if Tony could ever say no to him. He could almost imagine the face he had, he could almost sees his eyes wide, looking up at him- _no._

 

 _Bucky. Winter Soldier. You killed my mother, he killed my mother, Steve. He_ killed _my mother. You knew._ But he was brainwashed, it wasn’t him. His mother was still dead, though. “Of course, I got a floor ready for him or he can sleep with you in yours. Up to you guys. I, um, cleared his record too. Took a while but he's clear.” He turns to the other three, “Friday will tell you where your floors are. I have to finish something in the workshop.”

 

“Tony,” Steve stepped forward, his hand out reaching for Tony. He flinched harshly away, his breath picking up. He cleared his throat, straightening himself. He ignored the looks he was getting from around him.

 

“I have to go.” He left to his workshop, finally. It was hard to breathe but it was fine. His family was finally back together, they even had new members. That's what mattered.

 

\---

 

Soon after James became an Avenger, Tony refused to call him Bucky, they had a mission. All of them, as a team, as a family. It seemed appropriate that their first mission back together was against Doom and his doombots. Even Clint and Rhodey joined in to help out. Clint complaining the whole time about him being retired, even though he asked for them to pick him up, Rhodey protecting Tony instead of listening to orders, Cap muttering “Chatter,” with a smile on his face. Things were normal again. Until the mission was over.

 

Everyone was celebrating, over a successful first mission back, over being a team again. Thor hugged everyone he could grab, even Tony and Bruce. Clint high fived and slapped everyone on the back. There were smiles and laughter and happiness. Tony felt like he was watching a movie as he stood there watching them. Cap turned to him with the biggest smile on his face, his cowl was down and his face was flushed. His eyes fucking glowed with how happy he was, Tony’s heart broke a little more. He moved toward Tony, his smile still in place, his arms stretched out, ready to hug Tony. Except Tony didn’t see that. All he could see was Cap reaching for his shield, all he could feel was the shield piercing through his armor, the cold seeping in through the cracks. All he can see is Steve’s face as he beat him, as he left him, to die. _He left me to die_ .He could feel the blood trickling down his face, he was trapped in his own creation. He couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t bre- “Tony! Tony, c’mon I need you to breathe ok?” He can’t breathe, why is someone telling him to do something he _can’t_ . “Hey. Hey, Tony, it’s me, It’s Rhodey. Everything is ok. I’m gonna let you out of the suit ok?” Tony felt the suit nod around him, trapped. The suit opened, causing him to fall into the arms in front of him. The body fell with him, cradling him in the middle of the street. He sat frigid, barely breathing, only seeing the the arc reactor flicker below him. The shield on the ground across from him. “Tony, It’s Rhodey, please buddy I need you to breathe.” _Rhodey?_ Rhodey was good. Rhodey stayed, he always did. “That’s it, Tony. Just breathe.” He did. They sat there, surrounded by the Avengers as Tony remembered how to breathe.

 

When he was back to normal, Tony looked up at the worried faces around them, “Sorry.” He mumbled. He realized he was practically in Rhodey’s lap, his face hidden in his neck. Tony cleared his throat and sat up, though Rhodey didn’t allow him to get that far. “I, um, I should go.” He shoved at Rhodey’s hands, standing up and heading for the Iron Man suit that waited for him patiently.

 

“Tony?” If Tony were a stronger man, he would’ve kept walking. But Cap’s voice was so hurt, so scared and _guilty_ . He couldn’t. So he turned to face Steve, who now stood a fair distance away from him. Ready to ask what just happened until he saw the blue coming from Tony’s chest.. _Fuck_. “Why do you have the arc reactor back?”

 

“Cap, I don’t think-”

 

“Why do you have the arc reactor back Tony?” That was the Captain’s voice. Tony felt bad for being slightly scared.

 

“After our...disagreement there was some damage that only the reactor could fix.” Tony desperately wanted to escape back home, he didn’t want to see all these looks of pity. He was fine god damn it.

 

“You didn’t tell him?” Rhodey interrupted, angry.

 

“Rhodes, it’s not a big deal-”

 

“No, fuck that Tony, you damn well know it’s a big deal.” Rhodey turned his angry gaze on the captain, a year of rage building to the surface. “In case you forgot _Captain_ you left him to _die._ Which he almost did! If it weren’t for Friday keeping him alive until we got there we would’ve collected a corpse!”

 

“Rhodey-”

 

Rhodey stopped him in his tracks, his eyes betraying how scared he really was. “No, he needs to know.” He took a deep breath, calming himself, and turned back to Stev- Cap. “He didn’t wake up for weeks. Broken bones, internal bleeding, _frostbite_ , the arc reactor had to go back because he would be dead without it. You cut his life down by _decades_ . Yet he still invited you into _his_ home, payed off the bills of everything you broke during your tantrum, hell, he even cleared all your records. And what did he get Steve?” Rhodey waited for a response from the guilt stricken soldier. “He got a half assed apology in a letter. And not even a thank you for his kindness.” Rhodey shook his head, laughing humorlessly, “And you say you loved him.”

 

Steve’s head popped up to look at Rhodey then, anger in his eyes at the comment, at the same time Tony says, “Ok, I think he gets it. Can we go now?” Rhodey looked back to his best friend, nodding. Tony breathed a sigh of relief, practically running to the suit, Rhodey walking to his own so they could fly home. Before he could reach it, Natasha stood in front of him, blocking him. She was the only one who had tried to make things better. She always knew and Tony loved her for that. She placed her hands on his shoulders, he tried not to flinch, still sensitive from his panic attack. She smiled sadly and turned him around, to face Steve.

 

“I’m so sorry,” They still stood in the middle of the street, Steve and Tony in the center, the Avengers surrounding them, protecting them. Steve was crying and Tony was still recovering from a panic attack. They really were quite the couple. “I didn’t know-if I had-this was never supposed to happen.”

 

“It’s fine, Cap, really it is.” Tony wanted to go home and lock himself in the workshop never to be seen again.

 

“No, it’s not.” He looked at Tony sadly, “You stopped calling me Steve.” Tony couldn’t find a reply, “I almost killed you, god, Tony, I almost killed you. And what do you do? You invite us into your house and you _forgive_ us without another word. Why? You should be beyond angry at all of us, especially me.”

 

Tony shrugged, feeling Natasha’s hands still holding him, her way of comfort. “We’re a family. Families fight.” He looked down, “And there are casualties in every war.” He smiled, dryly, “I’m okay with being that casualty as long as you’re all together, happy.” He looked at all of them, together. He was fine. He stepped out of Natasha’s grasp and finally got to the suit. He hid the intake of breath he took when it surrounded him. “I’ll see you guys at home.” He shot off without another word, Rhodey following behind him.

 

Steve stood there, looking at the love of his life fly away from him. Bucky came to lay a hand on his shoulder, Natasha behind him. “I fucked up.”

 

Natasha shook her head, “We all did.”

  
  



End file.
